個人檔案Tie-Dyes and a Hangman's...相片部落格清單更多  |  工具 說明 |
|
16 September DAYUM!!!!!!OMG!OMG! O -M -G!
Has it really been that long since I've updated???? Geez......I hate to say this but I forgot how to add a damn enrty!!! (took me like 15 mins to get it right, then I was reminded how tempermental Spaces is ......now I wanna throw my puter out the window!!)
Sooooo......How's everyone beem doing? If it weren't for Katsoup snaggin' me on messenger tonight I would still be MIA. She told me that my other half (Vince ..*xoxoxox*) had updated so I felt guilty yet curious and , well, here I am! YaY! His entry was so sweet! If I could remember how to add a hyperlink I would add his addy so ya'll could read it, but hopefully he will see this and comment and the rest is up to YOU!
Lemme see...what's new in my life? ALOT! Methinks I'll have to give it to ya in small doses, otherwise I'll be typing the rest of the night!
Right now I am enjoying a Natty Ice at my freind John's house (see photos)after cramming for a test tomorrow. Yup, back in school! *Go Me!* I am absolutely LOVING it! *did I just say that?* WOW! I never thought I would be saying that about school. I used to abhor school...spent more time skipping class and smokin' pot than I did LEARNING....and unfortunately my antics have come back to haunt me. I'm having to take mostly General classes just to get me up to date with everything I should have learned in Highschool! My bad.....but NOW, I WANT to learn and I'm actually having fun doing it!! And you know what the best thing of all is about going back to school? My dad told me he was proud of me....I mean, after all my fuck-ups and putting him through HELL for most of my life, I finally heard those four words I have longed to hear for SO many years..."I'm proud of you".
Ok, enuff about school and sappy stuff.....
Vince and I are still together going stronger than ever! Anyone who has been loyally following our relationship as it started , HERE, on SPACES, will be happy to know that we have truly found our soulmate. Sure, there have been some up's n' downs.....but that that doesn't make me kill him only makes us stronger! (haha....). I love you baby, if your reading this I just want you to know I'm thinking of you right now while you sleep......(okokok, I know, I said no more sappy stuff...bite me)
Ok kids, I've had about enuff of this puter for the night. With any luck I will hit publish and everything won't go *POOF* ...gone. 1 February Abducted By Aliens??? Buried in Vinces Garden??? Where in the World is Melissa!?First of all , thanks to all that have stopped by questioning my absense. (yes, that was a typo .... but it works)....Or IS it a typo? Okokok...enough thinking on my part, apparently it is in vain.
I've been an anti-socialite for months now. I'm back. At least today I'm back. We'll see about tommorow..........
UPDATE: Christmas in England was fantastic. InVay got me the guitar you see in my pictures. I was gobsmakked. He wole me up and told me t open a damn box that had been sitting in the floor for a few weeks...(I would have thought more of it, but as it was, his roomate had ordered another bed, which came in BOXES, and I was oblivious to this guitar as I thought it was part of the bed.) Well...it wasn't. It was a superb guitar as I have ever had. Been drivn the nieghbors crazy playin it through an amp ( a Crate 212) that I my parents got me when i was 15. Wow....now i feel old.....Anyhow, amp works, guitar sounds sweet......and I need PRACTICE. I've been playing acoustic for 9-10 years, I forgot what it was like having a guitar that performs this well and letting my METAL roots be sated.
You know what I got him?
Nothing.
I hadn't planned on staying as long as I did. I was only supposed to visit for 2 weeks I think. That turned into 3 months. So, I got him nothing for Christmas. And I feel horrible. He said it was worth it just to see my face when I opened it. Thats a nice way of saying..."OMG, you REALLY looked terrible", But let me tell you.....If he EVER puts a pic up of ME that morning, I will kill him. He sent a pic to my dad.......of when I opened it. (so ok, it's X-mas morn, no make-up, no.....nothing) My dad sends ME a message" Looks like Vin got an ugly stick for X-mas, ....and beat the HELL outta you with it"............Thank you dad.
But more impotrtantly, (shut up dad), it was a very memorable X-mas for me. I won't be disappearing again anytime soon....or will I?
*any pics associated with this entry, in particular X-mas photos, will be traced to thier source and retalliation will be in order* 11 December I'B SIG, I THIG......Been in bed for 3 days now. I've got the worst load of goop in my head it makes me dizzy to walk around. Chest is full of it as well. I got Vince to pound on my lungs last night to see if some of that shit would break up. Helped a little. Steaming hot bath helped me feel human again. Now if I can get rid of the junk in my head and my sore throught, I will be an oh-so-happy camper again. Maybe... 6 December Me Myself and I
2 December I GOT BLISTAS ON MY FINGAS!!!Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted a guitar SOOOO badly..... she got one. ....and a CRATE 212 amp.....(heh) 16 years later, I still have the amp. The guitar, well, it sort of got pawned somewhere along the way for money for weed no doubt, as did the rest of her guitars eventually...one after the other. Sad, but true. My first guitar was a washburn electric. (the make really good acoustic guitars as well) I statred out playing Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Led Zep, Pink floyd...and got quite good. I practiced ALOT and most of my friends played so we'd cut school and jam 2-3 days a week. My second guitar was a Charvell electric. SWEET guitar that was. Can't remember what happened to it....(?) At any rate I've been playing on and off for the past 16years. The last 8 or so I have REEELY been slacking off. But NOW, I find myself in the U.K. with alot of time on my hands and 2 acoustic gitars and a mandolin to mess around with. Been learing some new songs, written a few, and am getting back to my old form a little bit each day. I've got blisters on my fingers. FYI: If your forming new callouses, don't take long baths...they fucking peel off. Dammitt... 28 November UpdatesStill here....obviously....(heh) Dinner turned out great. (Thank you Lizzie for your suggestions...too little too late though luv....lol) Had Turkey joint....was good. DaBigLeap suggested smoking it...hahaha. Turkey....Joint...get it? Ok....moving on.... Went shopping in Woking this weekend. They have a fabulous mall...huge.(Oh, for the record, for you Stephen King fans: Pick up his latest ' Lisy's Story'.....well worth it, best he's done in awhile.) I added some pics to the Windsor alblum of Vince and I making asses of ourselves in one of the shops.....There was an Elvis spotting....nuff said. lol Tried to get cigs sent to me, (thanks for the offer RedKitten) but alas, unless I knew someone on a military base it's a no-go, dammittt. Grandparents were going to send a couple of cartons to me but were informed they would be confiscated at customs, which makes no sense to me cuz I brought over two cartons (???) Oh well...perhaps it's a sign I should quit. Either that or go broke. Which brings me to another point......remember the money issue I had? Th one where I , well, didn't have any? I got my Granpa to acsess my account and transfer $1,500 to Vinces account. You wanna know how much I actually GOT of that??? £700!!!!! Fuck me, thats less than half that got sent! NOT including the penalty, (which was very small ) to transfer the money. Arghh!!!! Fucking expensive over here! Vince says it's all relative.....but I tend to disagree....... More later....I need to wash my hair as this fucking bird I'm taking back to the states just shit on my head...again. Speaking of that: Does anyone know how long the quaruntine on birds is coming into the U.S.? I've Googled till I'm blue in the face and can't find any difinitive answers. If anyone out there has had personal experience with this, please let me know. Thanks... OUT.................. 23 November Happy Thanksgiving!Ello again! Yep, still here. Unfortunately no Thanksgiving dinner....dammitt. I went to the local shop this morning in search of ...well....anything that resembled turkey. All I got for my effort was a "turkey joint breast", whatever THAT is. It's small....very small, but we shall see how it tastes tonight. I have a rather large butternut squash to go with it (never cooked one before....methinks I'll halve it, stick it in the oven with butter and brown sugar).......no gravy or stuffing to be found. So, butternut squash, some fresh baked bread, sauteed zuccini(sp), and.....thats probobly it. Oh, and a few ears of corn. Ta-Da! Hope everyone else has a great day, dinner, and spends it with your loved ones. 13 November Dear Granny, ....I miss you so much that I won't be home for Christmas.
That's what the card I'm sending out to her says. I called my grandparents last night because I've run out of money.....oh, and to see how they we're doing...heh. ( I know that sounds bad, but if you've lived in your grandparents basement for 3 years because of someting stupid you did....you might well feel the same. Don't get me wrong, I love them to pieces and don't know where I would be without them, but, my god it's been a nerve-wrcking 3 years! Wouldn't YOU wanna stay in England as long as possible?) First thing they said to me last night was 'When are you coming home?'. I noted the desperation in my grandmothers voice and felt a teensy pang of guilt when I uttered the words, ' Probobly not till after Christmas.....' Long pause on the other end. ' So....you won't be here for Thanksgiving then?', No granny, Thanksgiving is BEFORE Christmas, therefore ....no.' ' Ok, smartass.' Thats my granny :)
I have a Beta fish back home I left in the care of my grandfather with confidence that he would not be alive on my return. Reason I left him with gramps is because I feed him bloodworms, and granny said she ' wasn't going near those damn things,' So when I inquired about my fish, (I've grown quite fond of him, I've had him for like 2 years) I was completely stunned to find out he was alive and well and eating bloodworms out of grannys hand!!! She has an affinity towards animals , even though she denies it. I hope she copes as well when I bring the bird home. She claims she is terrified of things flying at her, but I think one that little bird lands on her hand and tries to cuddle with her, she'll be putty .
Oh, back to the money thing:
Thank god before I left I put one of my CD's in the bank in both mine and my grandfathers name. The reason I did this was if something were to happen and they needed money then it was there for them. Turns out I'm the one needing money. So gramps is gonna go by the bank tomorrow and get the details so he can wire me some money via Vinces account. Whew! I HATE not having money in my pocket and having to borrow! So, I'll get enough sent over to get me through the next couple of months and pay Vin back the money I borrowed off him and all will be well and good. Ta-Daa!
Turns out I was being silly wondering if Vin wanted me to go. I was talking to best bud Amy the other day and I was telling her about how I felt and she said, ' Good god, he wants to marry you ! Why in the fuck would he want you to leave?! Dumbass!' So I had a talk with him and said, ' All jokes aside, do you want me to stay?'.....He said yes, I feel stupid, and that is the end of that.
Oh, another thing....I brought 2 cartons of cigarettes with me when I came over. They lasted me ...1 month and a half. I thought y that was pretty good. And it WAS pretty good till I walked down to the store and ONE PACK costs like seven american dollars!! Thinking to myself, well, I'll just get sme "roll yer own" tobacco...problem solved, right? Wrong. First off I can't roll the damn things. I can roll a joint, but this is completely and utterly different. Second of all, this tobacco, which is much better for you than Marlboro or whatever 'brand' you smoke. In other words, the chemicals that they put in name brand tobacco, (which includes EMBALMING FLUID), has me so hooked that I get absolutely nothing out of this 'good' tobacco. No pleasant nicotine rush, no calming effect....nothing. So when Vince and I go grocery shopping this eve, I'm gettin some Marlboros. With the embalming fluid. Perhaps I'll be better preserved when I die of lung cancer.....
9 November Should I stay or should I go?This is the question I have been pondering for the past week or so.
I think Vin and I have finally fallen into a rythm of sorts. Which is good. At first it was awkward, for me at least, not knowing what to do or how to gauge emotions and attitudes. Now I feel like we're 'reading' each other much better. Having said before in an earlier post, this is our trial period , so to speak. This is the most time we've spent in each others company. Also as I said before, I wanted to use our time over here as a trial and error period so to speak.(and I don't mean trial and error as a bad thing....like deciding if we really want to get married...I simply mean a chance to get into a rythym before he comes to the U.S., that way we both have an idea of what we need to work on and won't be freaked out by each others habits/routines) I think this was the best thing for both of us. It was a lil' rocky at first....but not bad. Now I feel we have discovered more about each other than any vacation could have afforded us. I really hate that he doesn't write on his space anymore. I felt more connected to him when I knew what he was thinkg/feeling. He's a man of few words verbally. I'm not. Must be a 'man thing'?
At any rate, I DON'T wanna go home yet. Not because I'll miss him, (even though I will) but more because I'm happy right now. I also think there could be a few more things we could work on. Relationships are never easy are they? But, they aren't supposed to be. You get much more satisfaction out of working through problems and being able to be that much closer because of it.
My problem right now is.....I'm out of money. Vince will pay for things, and I will wire money back to him, but I dunno, I just feel uncomfortable having to borrow money. I don't want to be a burden on him. Should I be feeling this way? Does he want me to go home? Does he want me to stay as long as I can? Bieng a rather hard nut to crack, I hesitate to pose these questions to him. I've asked before, in a joking manner, if he was ready for me to go. He answered with an exuberant 'YES!' I know he was kidding, but how much was he really kidding? These are the questions that haunt me. I SHOULD feel safe and confident and not have to ask myself these questions. But, being the insecure person that I am, I just can't help it. It's not his fault I feel this way, although some sort of reassurance/feedback from HIM would be oh so helpfull and much appreciated.
Well, thats where MY mind is today. Not unhappy, not depressed.....just pondering. 6 November Still acrosss the pond...YaY!Yep.........still here!
Getting really bad about updating this space though. I can't see why really because I've got nothing but time on my hands during the day while Vince is at work. I usually spend the day reading, relaxing, playing with the bird. Not very exciting, I know, but what the hell? I'm REALLY enjoying it!! As some of you who know me well and have been on spaces as long as I have (if not longer) know that I have bouts of depression that really take hold of me at times and just deplete all reserves of energy/motivation. I've written about that sort of stuff in the past....alot. So many of you stuck by me, and I would like to take a moment to thank you....THANK YOU!
You know...before I came over here (England) I was in the midst of one of 'those times'. Being on disability, Not being able to work, going through operation after operation, beating Hep C, (my God those treatments were horrible...) living in my grandparents basement because I had to give up my own place because of a head on collision that cost me my mobility for the last 3 years........ well...the list goes on, and on....and on. So, yeah, I've been in a hole per say for awhile. I have my ups, but back home there were increasingly more downs.
I met Vince when I was at my very lowest. I was being treated for Hep C and let me tell you that was HELL. Some of you who are my freinds are going through that even as I type this. So I KNOW you know what I mean....Vince really helped me through that. He gave me hope when there was none to be found. He gave me light when all I could see was dark. He came to visit me (as a friend at the time) and saw me at what I imagine was my worst. I looked horrible, I felt horrible, I was just ...sinking. He saw something in me I didn't...and perhaps still don't that made him stick around. (perhaps because HE couldn't find anyone that would put up with HIM?..heh) I'm not sure I've thanked him for it. Whatever happens in this life of mine...now ours...I will be eternally gratefull for that spark he provided. Unbeknownst to him, he was my salvation.
I've been here for a month now.
Vin and I have never been around each other for this long. Unfortunately thats how long-distance relationships go, isn't it? I think before I came over here this last time, we had only spent a total of perhaps 9-11 weeks in each others presence. Weird, I know. But if you tallied up all the Skype hours and all the IM's and all the e-mails....sheesh. But thats really not a substitute nor a good basis for actually KNOWING one another...is it? Or is it? In saying that, with the countdown to Vince's Visa coming down to the wire, I thought it would be a good idea to see how the other half lives. See if we really CAN make a decent go at it. I mean, marriage is a big step. Huge. MY beliefs in marriage are not based on religion/God nor anything else....it's based on how I feel....and when I stand at the alter and say to this man that I love so dearly 'Til death do us part', by god I MEAN IT! Untill he dies, or I kill him, we're in it for the long haul!
In saying that I think I can now get round to my origonal point. I had two reasons for coming here: 1) I was severely depressed, wouldn't eat, wanted to sleep all the time; I needed a 'break'. 2) I wanted to see how it would be to upset a persons routine. To invade on his life as he will invade on mine and see if it would still be 'Kosher'. I admit, I had myu doubts. This would either be the end of something that was great while it lasted, or the beginning of something great that would last. The latter proves to be true. I am happy. I am content. And Vin probobly wishes I would go the hell home...LOL! No...JK. I aim to stay till he gets at LEAST some word of when his interview with the consulate will be. I don't know if he knows my intentions, but MY take on it is this: This is a very important time in BOTH our lives and I would like to be there when he gets handed his Visa and we can finally shrug off all this nonsense with immigration and get married! Am I wrong in wanting to be here for that? I think not! When he gets it, I want to be the first one to see his face, run up and scream 'HELL YEAH!' and jump into his arms and give him the biggest hug he's ever had.
So I wait......patiently and with no signs of depression since I've been here with him. 24 October Out on the townVin's roomate Ali and I went out last Sat. sans Vince...( he doesn't do the pub thing). We called a taxi, got to the pub where we were going only to realize we (she) had left the key to the flat. Vince had left explicit instructions for me not to wake him when we got in. Reason: apparently I snore and he wanted a good nights rest for the first time in weeks....(heh). After realizing our mistake, we turned the taxi round and headed back to the house to retreive key. Light was on in Vinces room...(whew...not asleep yet) After banging on every door/window we could reach, I looked around and realized Vinces vehicle was NOT THERE!!! I'm thinking to myself ' that lil rat, he never goes anywhere and as soon as we step out the door off he goes!' Then I realized he had mentioned going to blockbuster.....Getting back in gthe cab after writting a note to call my cell, we tried again to get to the club. Our cabbie I'm sure thought we were idiots.... The first place we stopped was BORING....and we were under-dressed. We walk in the door and everyone looks at us like we're street urchins. One beer and we're outta there. Luckily right before we left I was in the restroom and recieved a call from Vin. THANK GOD! Problem solved. He would leave the key for us....and reminded me not to wake him, lol. Can't remember the name of the place we went after, but thats where we spent the rest of the night....(till 4am to be exact....). They had a great band and Ali and some of her friends dragged me on the dance floor where after many beers and shots I seemed to have forgotten I have just had surgery on my knee......Needless to say, it's swollen and I can hardly move. Was it worth it? YES! I had a BLAST! Wish I had taken a camera with me. Or.....maybe not. I put a few of the ONLY pictures we have taken since I've been here. How bad is THAT? Will post more soon. Tomorrow I'm heading over to see Darrens, (Vins brother) ex and the kids. I'm sure we'll get some good ones then. TA-TA for now! Here's a lil video of the sweetie I'm taking back home with me :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7ro0moN40A 18 October Ello again!First off: I was supposed to return to the states on the 23rd. Well...we can just blow that right outta the cats ass now! (woohoo) I've decided to stay on a few more weeks. Hopefully Vince's immigration interview with the consulate will be soon and if at all possible I would like to attend it with him.
I wasn't sure I would be able to stay longer than planned, but the chap at customs stamped me for another 6 months. Noe that I"be staying for 6 months, but it IS nice to have that option. Also, me extended stay depended on wether I could get medication refills over here, (I had them counted out to specifiacly last me till the 23rd...) Fortunately for me, the doctoe obliged....even gave me refills if I happen to need them! :) I tell you ....the Med system over here is awesome....you don't have to pay for A THING if your a citizen here....
At any rate: Vin just walked in and is neededing the puter....so I will bid goodbye for now...
Love to you all!
Melissa 9 October ELLO!ELLO!
Ahhhh England. The rain. The clouds. The rain. No, actually it's been quite nice here with the exception of Friday. Seems to always rain at funerals, eh? I was informed right before I left the states that Vince's sister-in-laws father had passed and if I was up for it I would be attending the funeral with him. After sleeping for 16hrs straight after I arrived on Thursday, I felt pretty good so I went with him. Last time I was here I didn't get the chance to meet Vins brother Lee and his wife Clare, so although an unfortunate event, I was pleased I would get t meet alot of my "soon to be" family. Everyone was so nice and friendly and seemed to take to me as much as I to them. I think Vince has a wonderful family. When there's a crisis they all band together (as they should) and circle the wagons o to speak.
Beautiful ceremony. The service took place in an old stone church where quite a few members of the family, from what I understand, had been married there. Just beautiful. I wish Vin and I could find a church like that in the states to get married in.
Afterwards all headed to the cremetorium. I had never been to one before, even though I have already chosen to be cremated, much to my grandmothers displeasure. (She already bought me a plot.....ewww....spooky...) I was told that was the first cremetorium in England, so god only knows how old it is. I love this country for it is steeped in history. Everywhere you turn there's something older than the united states itself. I think they take it for granted how much they have aound to visit and look at. But I suppose when you live right by things like Stonehenge and places like that growing up I suppose you tend to overlook them and not consider them as unique and awe-inspiring as outsiders do.
After the crematorium a wake was held at a local club that Clare's dad had attended regularly. There was a huge table of food....I don't know or didn't recognise half of what \i ate, but it was good. Then there was the bar where I drank with the family I am soon to be a part of. Even though it was a funeral wake, it served as a great ice breaker as my new brothers, wives , sons all imbibed to celebrate the life of a man I unfortunately did not get to meet. Dare I say I had a good time? I maen, not to be disrespectful, but I DID. I enjoyed hanging out with everyone I enjoyed getting the nephews drunk (not that they needed my help). I enjoyed doing shots and telling stories with my soon to be in-laws. Even though death was involved, or in spite of it rather, this family pulled together and celebrated the life of a newly passed member in a way I wish I could say my family would do.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Got up at 8:30 this morn. Or rather the bird that is currently perched atop my head got up at 8:30 this morning. Vin's flatmate Ali had alerady left for work, as had Vin, so apparently Ali's cockatail though I should be up as well. "TWEET........TWEET.TWEET" is what I heard, incessantly until I got up and went downstairs. The damn thing has been on top of my head ever since. I'm glad it's here to keep me company during the day. I have a new friend. A friend that tweets too early in the morning.Dammitt.
I'm off. Gotta take a shower.
IF the bird doesn't mind..... 29 September ..and a good time was had by all. (if only we could remembe it) Thank goodness for cameras. Or not.
Had a great time this weekend in the mountains four-wheeling and "tying one on." I KNOW we had a good time because the pictures tell the story and I woke up with a sore ass the next day from that damn Quad.
I'm gonna make this short and let the pictures speak for themselves. I'm off to England for 3 weeks!!! Leaving on Wednesday and coming back the 23rd. Can't wait!!! Which reminds me, I need to check and see if shampoo and toothpaste are still "bomb-making materials" so I can pack. Damn what a pain in the ass.......but worth it. <smile> 24 September Well...that explains it.
23 September So you say it's your birthday?Well, I was going to curl up in the fetal position and just hide wihle crying silently to myself, but someone, we'll call him inVay, let the cat outta the bag in my comments and good ole MSN, who usually won't even load my page, somehow managed to change my 1 on the end of my 3 to a 2. Bastards. I don't feel 32. I feel 52. And as far as looks go, I DO get carded occasionally for beer by the blind cashier at Sheets. I think he just pretends to be blind and cards me to make me feel good. That and the fact that as long as we both pretend he's blind he can stare at my chest... I swear I'm gonna get a shirt like my sister has that says ' If you stare long enough they'll do tricks.' I've been through some shit in my 32 years. LOTS of shit. They say 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' , I say, 'What doesn't kill you hurts like hell and STILL doesn't kill you'...heh. Not really in the mood to write.....I don't know if it's the "age" thing, the shortening of the days, my on and off freind depression visiting me, or perhaps D.) All the above. Oh, let's not forget the tentative date inVay and I had set to get married on my birthday. Been in a funk for the past few weeks so I booked myself a flight to England. I'm sure inVay will either cheer me or make me throw myself out a window. Haha. Good news on the immigration front by the way. Seems he may very well be here to spend Chirstmas with me. He hasn't been able to fly to the U.S. because of Visa processing, hence the ron-day-vue in Jamaica. All we (he) US have left to do is get some documents together, cross our fingers and wait for further instructions. Instructions being: medical appt. and scheduled interview, upon which he will be issued his Visa the day of the interview...if approved . *fingers crossed* Wish we knew exactly when as we can make no plans nor set a date to get married. ( This particular Visa requires us to be married within 90 days of issue ) Anyone know a good 90 day wedding planner? *silent scream*
5 September Jamiaca...Part oneIn lieu of The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwins death, I dedicate this post to his memory and all that he stood for. Even though Steve was a somewhat over the top animal activist, I still admired him for his love for animals and his fiery passion to protect and educate. I have recieved literally dozens of e-mails today poking fun of him and his eccentric ways, and though I had to chuckle at a few, I thought it kindly tasteless as he has JUST passed on. I mean, even if you don't like him, anyone deserves repect. I think he lost alot of fans when he did his baby-dangling with his then 6month old daughter while feeding an 18 ft. croc, ( I wonder if thats where Micheal J. got the idea, or was it the other way around?) Umm...yeah Steve, you went a little overboard there..... At any rate, this incident reminded me of something that happened to Vin and I in Jamaica. I know I haven't told the play by play or day today synopsis of our trip, so let me just say in advance: Looks like I'll write about it when I damn well please and/or am inspired.....which may be never...(heh) Let me also say that my doctor thought it a good idea to wean me off the narcs, so tonight for the first time in .... a month (!!!) that I am having a toddy. Or two..or three...(justa warning....my spelling may be way worse than usual and I may stray from the topic completely...not that I don't do that sober.) I finally found a partner in crime that loves the water just as much as I do..if not more. While I don't cover myself in sand and lay on the shore with passerbyes gawking at me...(he was so childlike in his love of the water, I could only sit back with a smile on my face and a shrug of the shoulders when given "the look" that said " Is he OK?" Yes, he was , right in his element...(see pics titled Jamiaca) I DO love the water. Nothing like taking a hit of Ganja and going snorkeling. You can just hang in one spot forever, the only sound the surf and your blowhole. (You know, when you have to purge your breathing tube of water? If you don't know that....well....just try NOT purging, I promise you WILL know what I mean...) Hanging there in esquisite limbo,water below, surface above ,you are transported into another world, literally.( I found myself staring at the most interesting sand I have ever seen...) The small reef off the beach where we stayed, was just teeming with marine life. Parrot fish chomping on the reef, lil' neon yellow and purple guys darting this way and that (those lil guys,about as big a my pinkie,were very territorial...come right at you like you were nuffin'), starfish....BIG, HUGE starfish, easily bigger than your head were everywhere. (Those starfish can really book! I would think so with so many tentacles on thier underside, did I mention they were HUGE?) We were snorkeling for shells at first.We didn't stray to far from the shore for the first day or two for fear of getting our heads taken of by those obnoxious jet skis and fucking glass bottom boats.If I had but a dime for every guy that bothered us while trying to relax in the sun, I would indeed be a millionaire. Poor Vin, he doesn't smoke, but the Rastas seemed incapable of believing this. We almost printed a sign to hang around his neck that said," I KNOW it's crazy....but I don't smoke weed..GO AWAY!", lol! I DO, but had aquired MORE THAN ENOUGH when I got off the plane. ( I only smoked 2 joints while I was there...that shit is POTENT, the rest got left to the maids when i left.) I mean these people were ruthless. We actually got out my binoculars at one point to scan for this one guy that absolutely would NOT take no for an answer. Being the kind people we are, we would just daily shrug him off with a promise that maybe tommorrow we would let him take us to Rick's Cafe' to cliff dive. We really had every intention of going and letting this guuy take us, but as the week went on, we decided not to. Let me just give a BIG thanks to Vin for submerging himself in the water when he saw this guy sitting with me asking the rhetoric. Thats ok, I got Vin back when one of the minions whom I had turned down purchasing thier goodies, was sat beside me asking for a cigarrette. I pointed at vin, who had a towel on his head covering his face so as not to be bothered and said' I don't have any, I bummed one from that guy', pointing in Vins direction. (Vin doesn't smoke cigs either...) HAHAHA! Gotcha didn't I babe? I knwe I'd get off the subject..... As I said before, we were in the water usually by 7-8 o'clock. Swim for hours, sun a lil, then grab a bite to eat and a few Red Stripe, (the local brew, which isn't bad I must say..) Later on,after a nap, you might find us in the water again...or not. Vin was the first to bring one back alive. Like I said earlier, we started out just looking for shells inthe semi-safe 30 yards or so from the shore. I believe it was the first or second day we were there, he comes plodding out of the water with his bounty. One of which was a very pretty conch. I turned it over and said you better take this one back, it's alive. ' how do you know?' Vin said, I said 'well, look at this, and touch it'....there was indeed a conch critter in there and when touched would retract into it's mobile home. Vin, not wanting to touch, took my word for it and put the mollusk back from whence it came. Skipping a few days: We finally ventured into jey ski hell and just hoped that no one would run over us. Vin had already been out that far,and told me i just HAD to see this.
OK.... Due to my increasing buzz, part duex will come in a few days......... *drool* 30 August "God is a concept..."~ John Lennon
I was returning comments left on my space today and stopped to read Andys post and thank him for his well wishes. His post inspired THIS post, and HIS post was inspired by our dear Red Kitten. I suppose this is a catchy if not touchy subject, and I haven't ever written an entry that has come close to dabbling on the subject of religion. I tend to leave this subject to the theologians because more often than not, when verbally confronted with this subject I end up in a debate. I have found that christians, especially christians of the southern persuasion, ideligably intolerant of ANY other religions or beliefs.I'm not speaking for ALL christians, but in my experiences I have been told that thiers was THE path and the ONLY path to righteousness. Any and all attempts of mine to plea the side of other religions inevetably falls upon deaf ears and I am bound for hell in a handbasket.When my soul passes from this world into the next St.Peter at the pearly gates will peer into his book of believers from which my name has been erased. From atop his massive podium, eyes full of pity and sorrow, he will turn me away. Sorry kid, your elevator goes down. I was raised in the heart of the Bible Belt. South Carolina/Virginia. Ok, maybe not the heart, but looking back it felt like it then..... and, well....I guess it still does. I was made to attend services every sunday as a child. I see that as kinda funny now because my dad was an athiest.I knew he didn't believe and it had absolutely no effect on MY beliefs what so ever.( Aside from the fact that I was quite sure he was going to burn in hell...heh) I knew God once. He was an enormous white man with a long flowing beard and long flowing white hair in long flowing white robes and if you made him mad he would send your ass straight to Hell.....(in a handbasket)......to burn in the fiery depths of hell forever and ever, Amen,So impressive was He in my childs mind, I made a promise to Him that I would stop eating boogers. I never ate another booger. I was six and I made a pact with God and I stuck to it.( I never said anythig about not wiping them on the wall...) I am not telling you this in jest or as attempt to belittle the beliefs of others in this God that I once knew. It is quite funny though....I was forever getting caught sampling the bounty within the depths of my nasal oriface. That particular night when I was six I realised I just couldn't help myself and the only way I knew to stop was to make a promise to God. And it worked. He helped me. He helped me because I KNEW, having made this pact, if I ever did it again I would go to Hell. I lived in fear of God. I was told and conditioned (if not outright brainwashed), that I was going to go to a very hot place and BURN FOREVER if I did not believe. I don't remember exactly when it happened.But at some point God got thrown into the mix with the likes of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. It just seemed proposterous to me that there was an all knowing ....being(?) ...that decided at some point that it was too dark and said "Let there be Light" and there was. Man was made from dirt? Woman was made from the rib of a man? Why didn't the bible mention dinosaurs in Genises when God was creating all this stuff? What about evolution? Is it even possible to believe in God and believe in evolution at the same time? Seems like a paradox to me.Unanswerable questions.Questions. Questions and questions and questions and no answers that are satisfiable to my mind. I am told Faith is the answer. How is faith an answer? How can you believe in something there is no supportive evidence of? I could go on and on and on and on. But I don't want to.I'm not putting anyone down for what they believe or don't believe. I'm not walkin on anybodys toes.My thoughts when I began to write today were somewhere along the lines of how different religions are intolerable of one another. "MY religions right, YOUR religion is wrong" type thing. Case in point: inevitably Harper or someone of the same ilk will start the bible thumping in my direction. Please, don't bother. I am quite content pondering these questions on my own and finding my own path to walk down Thankyouverymuch.
28 August ARGHHHHHHHHHH........................Rant/On Still dealing with a bum leg. I ran outta pain pills Friday eve. Knowing I was going to be out and not wanting to spend the weekend in pain not to mention withdrawel, (for any of you out there who have been on strong narcotics for any length of time, you know the withdrawel can be just as bad if not worse than the pain itself) I called the doctors office Friday morn to get a refill. Covering all bases, I also called the pharmacy so they would fax the request in. Several hours later I called the pharmacy in good faith that this task had been handled. Never had any problems with this before. Until now. Pharmacy: No ma'am, we havent recieved anything from your doctors office yet. Me: You did fax it, right? Pharmacy: Yes ma'am, we faxed it right after you called. Me: Ok, I'll call back in a bit. (Mind you it's Friday, docs office closes at 4:30....this is now 1:00) I gave them another hour and called the pharmacy back. Same response....doc has not called it in. Not wanting to be irritating, but at this point I'm starting to get panicky, I called the doc office. Me: Hi, it's me again, sorry to be calling you again but I know you guys are outta there at 4:30, could you please tell me the status of my request. Docs office: Ma'am, we haven't recieved any request from your pharmacy. Me: !!!!!!!! Ma'am, I just called them to see if they had heard from you and they told me they faxed you hours ago! Docs office: No ma'm, we haven't recieved anything, so I'll let you talk to the nurse, ok? Me: *sigh* Ok. Nurse: I called them about an hour ago personally and told them to refill the Rx. Me: (relived and worried that something had gone awry) Ok, thank you very much. 3:45 Calling pharmacy....again. Me: It's me again, is my rx ready for pickup? Pharmacy: (hesitation....bad sign) No ma'am, we haven't recieved anything from your doctor. Me: !!!!!!!!!.......!!!!!!!!!! I just called them 15 minutes ago and the nurse said she was calling it in! Pharmacy: I'm sorry ma'am, we haven't heard from them. Me: !!!!!!!!!!!! (sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache) Ok, I'll call them and see what's going on..... 4:10 Call to docs office...AGAIN Me: It's me agaion, I just got off the phone with the pharmacy, they said they hadn't heard from the nurse, what's going on? I hate to hassle you but I know you guys are outta there at 4:30! Docs office: I'm looking at your notes in the computer, the nurse called it in at 4:00. Me: (thank god...very relieved) Ok, thank you ma'am, sorry to have kept bothering you. 4:20 Me: Hi again....is my RX ready for pickup? Pharmacy: I'm sorry ma;am, we still have not recieved anything from the docs office. Me: Can you please check ahain? I just called the office and they said it was called in at 4:00. Pharmacy: (goes and double checks) I'm sorry ma'am, still no word. Me: (freaking the hell out now) Are you serious!? 4:30 on the dot. <Ring....Ring..........RIIIING....no answer> At this point I am coming to terms with the fact that I am going to spend the weekend in pain and uber DT's. And so it was. ****Today......considering NOT calling to see if RX was there because the worst of the DT's were over. On the other hand, pain was still keeping me laid up in bed, swelling is still bad even though I had spent the entire weekend in bed with leg elevated and iced. What to do?**** Me: Still looking for RX, heard anything? Pharmacy: Stll waiting to hear from doc. Me: WTF!? You're kiddong. Pharmacy: No ma;am...sorry, no word. Me: I called them yet AGAIN on today and was told yet AGAIN it was called in FRIDAY! Pharmacy: Sorry ma'am. Would yu like for me to call them? Me: YES....as will I! You can be damned sure of that! Me: I just called the pharmacy, and after being laid up ALL WEEKEND, they reassured me, triple checked and stood on thier heads......NOTHING! Docs: Ma'am, I have your file pulled up and am currently looking at it. The notes say that the nurse called it in Friday at 4:00. Me: (biting toungue and speaking in a low monotone voice) WHERE was it called in? Docs: AT Kroger in fairlawn, same place we've called all the others in to. Would you like me to tell the nurse and have her call it in again? Me: (oh how I wish I could have reached through tht phone....) Surpressing the urge to say " NO, no.....I've been pulling out my fucking hair all weekend, why in the helll would I want you to CALL THEM AGAIN?!" Yes, please ask the nurse to call again.... 30 mins later.... Pharmacy: (at this point they recognise my voice and without me asking the obvious question, they tell me that my RX is filled and ready to be picked up.) **sigh of relief cuz someone was going to die** Thank you, I'll send someone for it. I was going to ask both parties what had happend and why, but that would be pointless because I knew there would be finger pinting all round, including THE finger to the both of them from me. 3:45 ....right now. Me: Sitting here typing this because I can't get online because my server is down. Me: Not really caring about not getting online. Me: Feeling NO PAIN and floating on a big fluffy cloud. Me: Wnating to talk to Vin because I've had very limited contact with him this past weekend. Oh well. I'm sure he understands. Me:*drooling slightly thinking to myself 'fuck me what a boring entry that took me over an hour to type' and that I may need a cup of coffee because they upped my dosage and I may nod off* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`> here's a spot of coffe on my screen. Oh yeah, I'm the only one that can see that.......... Rant/.............disabled 26 August Whetever happened to .......ME. Well, I tell ya, it hasn't been all meat and taters for this ole girl here of late. KNEE surgery gone awry...Nuff said. Not going to any details, cuzz I'm really a pussy right now and I don't want to ruin my reputation of being a strong person. I've been strong for most of the last three years, but sometimes you gotta just give into the fact that there will be times when you ain't so strong....Nuff said. I WILL tell you one thing that has my G-string in a wad, and that is these pain pills. If you have ever had the misfotune of being on them off and on for 15 years, then you know what I'm talking about....WITHDRAWEL. Nurse Ratched (not you dear kitten) was supposed to have called me an RX in on Friday. Did it get called in, YES.As to where it got called in, I haven't the foggiest. SOOO, I will have to wait for MONDAY!!!!. However, if Moday comes and I'm feeling better than this, I will renounce my rx and get through it as best I can. Oh dear, seems I went of on a tangent after all. At any rate, I just wanted to post something along the lines of letting you know I haven't dropped off the planet...yet. PS: Hoping with all hope I have left in me...I WILL write about my DAMN TRIP!~!! I knwo Gatsoup has been droling over tales of Ganja -Land....I shall not dissappoint!! |
A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!
|
|
