Ninth grade was THE year for me. Seemingly overnight the summer before school, I was transformed from a slightly overweight, glasses-wearing nerd into a taller, thinner, contact-wearing BOMBSHELL. Ok, maybe not a bombshell, but the change was drastic to say the least. Guys were taking interest in me, and for the first time it was not to tease me. It was about BOOBS. I walked out of eighth grade short, chubby, no Boobs and wore glasses. I walked into ninth grade four inches taller, slender, no glasses, and BOOBS. I was now a force to be reckoned with. 

I had always been liked by kids, but I never quite fit into any particular clique. You had your rednecks, you had your "Preppys", you had your druggies, you had your freaky Goth people....I got along with all simultaneously by choosing not to be any particular one. I was just me. Still yet I was astonished when a senior in study hall took a genuine interest in me, a lowly ninth grader. I was into heavy metal at the time and being good in art I had drawn an exact replica of Eddie the mummy from an Iron Maiden alblum on my book cover. That and a carved METALLICA in my study hall desk, plus boobs, (don't forget the boobs), must have piqued his interest. He commented on my drawings, I melted.

He was a good guy, good looking too, and we started calling one another and before long we were inseperable. Did I mention he was a good guy? He truly was and my parents loved him. Another plus because they completely trusted me with him and let me stay out later than ever before. Had they known about our trips to the lake, and the parties, and the drinking I doubt the sentiment would have been the same. At any rate I had them fooled. I was dating a "fine young man.....".

PROM was coming up. There was no asking involved. I was going. Searching for a dres with my stepmother was like fingernails on a chalk board...I still have nightmares. Three days before Prom we FINALLY agreed on a dress that was not too short and did not show too much cleavage. It was beautiful. White with a big bow and rhinestone spagetti straps...I have to admit, we had found THE dress.

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He picked me up in a red late sixties model convertable mustang. He had the top down. No matter, I had enough Aqua Net  sprayed on my head it would have deflected bullets, the wind moving it was not going to be a problem. We posed for our pictures in the yard beside the lilac bushes and among the azaleas, and then more by the car and me getting in....(ok enough already dad with the camera), and proceeded to PROM.

This is where it gets fuzzy. I remember being at the prom, I remember posing for the picture that you see here, and then apparently we were too cool to stay there so we went to the party instead. I think we may have danced ...once. Now it gets fuzzy again so lets fast foreward to the cops coming.

I don't know what time it was but I remember people scattering and running.Too drunk to follow, I was captured with my panties down in the bushes peeing. My new found favorite drink (Sloe Gin) in my hand and the other on a branch for balance....well, it made for an awkward site as the flashlight lit me up.

Carried home by the police, my dad was awakened to two men holding his daughter up while she puked off the side of the porch. I don't recall, but I feel safe in saying he was not as proud of me as he was before I left. I went to my room, hugged the trashcan all night and got up the next day to the sound of a high pitched wail coming from my stepmothers lips. If you've ever had Sloe Gin you'll know that it is red...bright red in fact when you spill it all over a satin white gown. There were also some cigarette burns to boot. Head splitting open, I rose to the punishment. I was grounded for 3 weeks....but I still got to see Steve. Thats when I started sneaking out the window.

Moral of the story: If you wear a white dress to prom, drink vodka. If you get drunk, don't try to smoke. And if you get grounded, there's always a way around it if your clever.

:)

*** I think my stepmonster still has the dress. Perhaps it's being used as a teaching tool for my two younger siblings...LOL!